♥

It's been exactly one week since I left Japan and came back to Australia. As always I am back to the "same old, same old" atmosphere.

I seriously don't know what I have been doing for the past week. I swear I was in some sort of "post-Japan depression" (as they would call it) right after I came back. Oh, and of course can't forget about reverse culture shock because well that's the common pattern when it comes to travelling and coming back "home".

Since it was my second time going to Japan, I can definitely say that I've learnt so many things. These small, priceless little lessons that could even have the potential to swerve the direction of one's life. I have travelled with the company of my high school friends, met up with friends in Japan that I have probably not seen from 6 months to 5 years ago. I have never been so happy in my life to have met these epic and loving people. Right now, I just don't have the right words to describe everything, but one day I will. This post probably doesn't have a structured form but... well please forgive me for that.

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After coming back there were so many fears I had that could potentially happen. I'm probably sure I might not be alone on this. But after you come back from travelling, the home country that you came back to has not changed, but you have. It's as if it was all a dream and you woke up knowing that no one else had that same or similar dream. It feels like all of those small details, those precious memories and experiences you have gained were tossed down into the drain.

And so, that is the point of time where you realised, you are going to travel again. It's a bit like escaping isn't it? But it isn't really. One thing I feel that is actually happening is your thirst to learn more.

Just to learn.

The more we bring ourselves to learn in life, the more we see a better reason to direct our lives and our purpose to live.

The only thing that stop or limit our potential to learn is money .

That's also another reason I'm not too happy about. The very idea that you can only go overseas because you have money, is just plain ridiculous. Yes, yes, I know that realistically you can't do much about that, I aware of that.

I'm just annoyed the fact that so many people whether it may be adults or children, should have an opportunity to go overseas and expose themselves to something different and new. Not only that, children would at least be able to bring confidence into themselves and important lessons that they can learn in their life. That is the one of the main keys that could nourish the younger generations from now (Especially when now technology is now a time-killer).

But no, it doesn't work that way for a capitalist country. *sigh*

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Overall, uni starts soon and I plan on going to Japan again. Whether it may be for exchange or with family :).

Yes, David N I will credit you this pic. *takes credit keke *

日本の道か２本の道。

二つの意味がある。
「にほんの道」のこと

いいトコも、悪いトコもある

小さい頃から今まででもずっと
ずっと
大好きなんだ。

文化、音楽、
人々も
全部が大好き

なので
どうしてだろう
二つの心を持っている
オーストラリアの心
日本の心
２本の道

「自分が誰？」って
よく聞く
自分に

答えなんて
ないのさ

二つの心
二つの道
別々のにずっと
ずっと
繋がってる

終わり。

Yes, I know it's been around... 2 years since I last posted. But seriously ever since entering Uni, what is life anyway?

Well one of the reasons why I'm back here is mainly.. well...
okay well to be greatly honest even now I'm questioning why am I so worried or a bit shaken up.

Before we get into the nitty-gritty stuff let's just summarise two years into one post, shall we?

- Entered MacqUni - studied Psych&Jap
- learnt about how GPA was so damn important
- reflected what the hell I'm doing with my life
- still worked at Subway (Ugh)
- doing shitty at uni cause of Psych units - even though I loved it
- meeting beautiful people throughout the years.
- meeting so many Japanese people through buddy programs
- starting to realise I'm "growing up"
- mood swings with people
- moved houses
- more reflection time
- more catch ups
- volunteering
- more memories made
- connections with their comings and goings
- I hate life.
- I love life.
- WTF.
- Got rejected by exchange application - stupid GPA
- Able to go to JENESYS - to Japan <3 font="">
- MACQ mentoring
- quit Subway
- so much love and karaoke
- so much tears and departures
- too many feels these days.

I probably forgot to mention other stuff but.... oh wells. in the meantime,
just wanted to have a little release of emotional energy that has built up for a while.
For starters, what I can't get over, is the fact I keep thinking about myself. Quite self-absorbed, right? Even I realised that but yet there's a part of me that can't control this behaviour. It's not just me but even people around me.
Maybe I'm just emotionally unstable atm.
I don't even know anymore.

But yeah, what triggered me to post again is because of a very good friend of mine I made when he came over to Australia for a month. Loved talking to him about life and was able to learn so much.
But knowing the difference in culture, I feel really guilty into pushing him to always answer my long-ass replies. Cause well, girls talk too much anywayyy! Of course, he does not necessarily tell me about it. But then again, once he does, it hurts like crap. Seriously don't know why the Japanese always makes you feel so dam guilty. WHY SO RESPECTFUL?! Even though asking that makes no difference considering I already somewhat know how their society works. Okay not going to get too technical at this time.
-____________________________-
ugh there is so much for me to learn.
There is so much motivation for me to continue forward.

But anyway, if nothing makes sense, it's because I didn't completely write down everything - hence there would be slightly jumps / not much cohesion.

Sigh.

Until the next time.

Yay! haven't blogged for months and it feels weird to be back.. It feels like talking to myself again but in writing.. LOL
So, a lot of things happened, year 12 is a .. you can figure the rest.
Anyways, recently, been so stressed and god damn worried about flag day and assessments altogether. Have to check whether the girls know the moves, fix their weak spots so we are more prepared... small adjustments to movements.. oh my god organising is such a painnnnnn... ;___;
Yeah, I shouldn't worry, but it's a part of me to be a paranoiac person T_T GAHHH !! Assignments are like crashing waves over and over again. With a dash of homework to kill our procrastination time. Poof.

Currently sick. I love you Winter, even if you are so damn cold, I'll optimistically say that you are technically making my immune system stronger (B or T memory cells?) LOL.

I need to catch up. I'm behind in majority of notes. Question is when I will start.

Anyways, I'm still tired and this blog post's structure is wtf. oh wells.
I'm going to listen to 2EN1 and Arashi on repeat. zzzzZZZzzz
night all.

Kyaaaa~ dammit! Obsessed like there's no end ~ xD
Up to the 300s atm.. *sign* I have to end up re-watching it at some point since my sister watched the previous eps without me :'(
wahhh! Just saw everyone's new bounty... Poor Chopper and Sanji D;
Anyway,
I hope I will start work tmr >.<

Pyuu~

Before I complain about a certain issue, I'm going to say thank you to everybody who have wished me a good happy birthday and the awesome hugs and the presents :D Love you all and I appreciate it dearly! <3 ^^
Awesome 17th birthday :) Even though had ttor, but it was still awesome! ^__^

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I know I shouldn't be complaining and so on and so forth, but oh wells.

Okay, I know that you are probably complaining about it on the social networking site, but seriously I'm sorry that we tried our best to make things happen for you. And please, why are you saying that we have to change it now rather than telling us earlier?! Can't you just notify us earlier? We DID tell you the choices, we DID tell you the information about it. And in the end, no one is bothered to come up to us and have their say. If you wanted another place, at least give us some suggestions first instead of blaming us."You reap what you sow". Organising seems so easy when you're not the one in charge of it. Also, there are so many considerations that we need to do beforehand. Individuality can be a crisis to another, hence consideration for others is needed, otherwise, please don't bother.

Also, it's too late.
The best times to book a place is a year prior to the date. Now we are more likely to get nothing rather than something. I guess that depends.

Otherwise, just accept reality, do what you must. But at least realise the gaps rather than the lines on a page.

-stress over-
-gets over it-

Okay.
Woke up at 7:30am. Played on the PSP that Malcom let me borrow for a few days. Packed up. Dad drove to Birrong Swimming pool and met with Kim & Raksha along the way.

We ended up being randomly picked for helping the teachers to send notes about the times and races etc. So went to the other side and did so :D. The teachers were quite active and easy-going so the atmosphere was pretty good :). Everyone talked, walked, laughed. hehe. ^__^ The was also this big water playground and it was so tempting to join in with the little kids who were already there. T.T Then Mr Viller recommended we should but also added that 'it doesn't mean I gave you permission'. Yet still encouraging us HAHA. And now he has a not-so-good impression of me cause I keep slapping other people's ass and poking till no end. o_o'
Later walked around to Jennifer's group and purposely disrupt their game of Speed but they didn't mind. :D

And also during the time of handing in the notes from/to teachers, just took a few lamingtons from the tray keke :D The races were interesting, just watching people swimming, having fun etc. x]]

There are more details but I'm too tired. keke.

Our year is pretty good. Not as bad as we all think. It's also nice having good conversations with teachers as well. haha. Well, year 12 is going to be hectic.

My dream ended up like this:

I was walking down this road where it was completely deserted. It was in the rural places where there were minimal no. of house etc. It was a rainy, stormy weather. I didn't understand what was happening. I was holding this object(don't remember) and an umbrella. I started to run as if I was reaching a goal. Then these little miniature whirlwind started to become the obstacles and approached quickly (This was weird... LOL). I ended up being sucked into their pull and spun around.. it was hectic. ~_~ During that critical time I ended up opening my umbrella and I began to float in the air (like Mary Poppins? LOOOL) It felt awesome :D Just to get away from all the craziness from before. Then later on I reached my destination. ____ & ____ were standing there, and I was handed them the object (I can't remember what it was). Then in the dream, I realised I was dreaming, so I woke up willingly. Since I didn't understand the point of sleeping if I had the choice of waking up or not.

Now that's weird. ROFLMAO.

29 January 2012 - 4 February 2012